BY T. J. WALLACE

GUEST COLUMNIST

There is unrest in the Tooele youth and long has the sovereign ruler of Tedium led his forces to spread boredom among them. Several hundred of these youth have united to declare their intentions to fight against boredom. This separatist movement, under the direction of the Deseret Peak District of the Boys Scouts of America, held a not so covert operation just west of the Tooele Sector in an area with the code name "Pine Canyon Camp." This group of revolutionary Scouters gathered at the Spring Camp-O-Ree to join forces and train in the fight against monotony.

The Camp-O-Ree began with an evening meal, ranging from chicken and potatoes, MNRE (meals not so ready to eat -- a.k.a. foil dinners), chili-covered tube steaks, and other encampment delicacies, most cooked over campfire or in ovens of iron. With fuel in their bellies, they were ready for night games involving stealth and surprise to build camaraderie and hone skills of amusement. Skill is key in the battle against Lord Tedium.

The impending crusade against dullness could prove to be fierce and the training was intense. Courses were held in pioneering, emergency preparedness and citizenship. Many other courses directly relating to counter-boredom efforts concentrated in fields such as golf, rifle shooting, fingerprinting and chemistry.

The week following this Spring Camp-O-Ree gathering, another organized unit of boredom fighters assembled at their annual Conclave event. An event that encompasses not only the El Ku Ta Lodge of the Great Salt Lake Council, but also the Awaxaawe Awachia Lodge of the Trapper Trails Council, the Tu-Cubin-Noonie lodge of the Utah National Parks Council and the Shunkah Mahneetu Lodge of the Grand Teton Council. This group, calling themselves the Order of the Arrow, met in the remote region of Delta to strengthen their brotherhood and learn how to become stronger Arrowmen. Our local Sage Chapter always has a burly attendance for the El Ku Ta Lodge.

As a boy, I never fully understood this society of Arrowmen, primarily because I was never elected by my peers to participate. As an outsider, I was honored to have been invited to attend the event in order to provide you with an appetizer to the feast of Conclave. (I was also grateful not to have been eradicated for infiltrating their covert operation.)

This Order of the Arrow is considered the "Honor Society" of the Boy Scouts of America and fewer boys receive this honor than attain the rank of Eagle Scout. The Conclave was a three-day event of intense anti-boredom special ops training. Formal training included over 85 courses encompassing cooking, Native American regalia, ceremonies and leadership. Specialty training to combat boredom consumed most of the time spent at Conclave. This difficult instruction included events such as Elangomat, regalia, ceremonies, Dutch oven cooking, patch auction, "Chubby Bunny" (you'll have to ask an attending member), a candy cannon (apparently there is nothing like being pelted with candy at a high velocity), and many other activities. I can honestly say that the inflatable obstacle course was grueling, but these boys of all ages were intent on stamping out the mundane and pushed each other to race faster and bounce higher.

The OA is representative of cheerful service and brotherhood and is deeply rooted in the Native American culture. As such, there was a pow wow and brotherhood ceremony. With each activity packed in tighter than the morning commute on a snow day, I'm certain that these young men finally had time to sleep on the ride home. In the end, our own Joe Mann was honored with the best dancing in the "Old Man" category.

These warriors are now well on their way to a successful battle against boredom throughout the summer season. Ahead of them lies the dreaded "Summer Break," but these rebels, diligent in their struggle, will counter with the coup de grace, the week-long summer camp.