By Jamie Gross

GUEST COLUMNIST

To begin, I need to say that my wife is always in charge -- so I can sleep in my own bed tonight. But at times this is not as clear as others. Anyone who has children knows those big eyes have a lot of power.

Our family hit a huge milestone this month: Our youngest is potty trained. No more diapers! We tried a few of our tried-and-tested methods with him and the one that ended up working was that if he used the potty he received a trip to McDonald's. And not just any old trip either, but one where he would be able to play on the play land. This worked great and in a couple of days he was using the potty all the time. The only problem is now he thinks every time he goes potty in the potty he gets his reward. This should be an easy line to draw, but he is our baby and has the biggest blue eyes and a lip that could wrap over his head. It only took four trips to McDonald's before I was able to establish my place as head of the household again.

Again, to reiterate, I know that my wife is really in charge, but she is great at letting me think I have some control and even lets me be the token figurehead so I look like I am in charge to the outside world. I love to borrow the great idea from "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" of I am the head of our household, but my wife is the neck.

Another recent incident in our family blurred these lines a little more. Our two oldest girls had not done their chores and were complaining about the consequences. My wife and I were discussing this issue with our 8- and 10-year-old girls and it was getting a little emotional until our 4-year-old decided to step in. She went to her room, grabbed her Bible and stood next to my wife and me. She opened it up and put her finger on a verse, (she can write her name, but she cannot read yet) looked at her sisters and said, "Jesus says you have to listen to your parents."

This should have been one of those wonderful teaching moments that you hear about, but our family did not look at it this way, as we burst into laughter and all the teaching we were trying to accomplish and could have with this profound moment in our daughter's life was lost. We have since praised our daughter for the wisdom she imparted on us and her sisters.

I want to take this chance to give you a quick thought about this family thing. There are plenty of moments in life, especially the lives of those with significant others and children, that give you pause and make you think "am I crazy?" like figuring out who is in charge. It is all worth it.

My wife and I just celebrated our 12th anniversary on Friday and I truly could not imagine 12 better years. During this time, I have learned a few secrets, one being a major discovery. I have discovered that the secret to ending divorce in the world is to marry the right person the first time. I know it is not that simple to find that person, but I am here to tell you it is possible. I found mine and the real miracle was that I am hers as well. If there is someone out there willing to be my perfect match it is possible for everyone to find one. Thanks KyLee for the wonderful years we have had and will have. And for letting me feel important when we all know you are in charge.

Jamie Gross is a Tooele resident who graduated from Weber State University with a bachelor's degree in communications and a minor in family relations. He has been employed as a public relations and internal communications writer for the past 10 years. He has been married for 12 years and is the father of four children.